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Thursday, 24 October 2019



He broke up with me six months ago after promising to marry me. Before then, I told him I wasn't ready to marry before graduating from the university, and I will be graduating in less than a year. I was living with him then. Everything was okay until his parents started telling him to leave me, that I am after his money. He is the quiet type. He eventually broke up with me. I left his house, he brought in another lady almost immediately. They started living together. I learnt he wanted to marry her. Recently, I don't know what happened between them, she left the house. Three days after she left, this my boyfriend that left me because his parents said I will finish his money started calling and begging me to come back to his house, that he still loves me. I am very confused now. Mr Caesar, I need your advice.

My response:

I don't think he just left you because of his parents. There must be more to it, but let's look at it from what it looks like. He left you because his parents believed you are after money. I guess it's because you want to finish school before marriage. Now he wants you back just three days after the woman he's living with left. My dear, don't go back. I think he thinks you love his money. He thinks you are cheap.

 He called and asked you to come to his house and start staying with him again. He didn't even go to you. You look too cheap to him. Also, he's a mama's boy who can't make decisions for himself. Men like this don't make good husbands, and what is this thing about living with him even when unmarried? Does he have problems with dating who is not living with him? My dear, he's your past.

No need being confused about it. He doesn't know what he wants. If you go back to him, he will still make another big problem with you because of another thing his parents said, and I doubt you will ever have value for his parents.

You don't need to think about dealing with him anymore. If a man breaks up with you for the sake of his parents or for the sake of anyone on this earth, it means that you are a second to a lot of firsts in his life and you don't deserve such a man. He sounds like someone, who cannot take a stand and believe in his choice. This action, even goes to show that somewhere he is comfortable with the idea of letting you go. I am sure he did not quit everything he loved in his life at the behest of his parents, he did surely hang on to a lot of things against the wishes of his parents and God forbid if he is the kind of child who follows each and every diktat of his parents, you better pick up your shoes and run before he changes his mind. Such a man cannot give you happiness, but only struggles to deal with.
I understand it will be very hard to let him go. We cling on to people and things for our own solace and comfort, but there are times in our lives when we should let the practical side of our brain work and obey its reasonings. Ignore this man and move on. I bet he will come running after you once you start ignoring him, but keep in mind this man does not have a spine and is likely to not have it for a long time in future. Take a step back and analyse these factors before being troubled by his decisions. God bless and prayers.

I must add this too, reduce your dependence on men who aren't your relatives.